The Ax and The Bow
by TK7410
Summary: Johanna Mason's story told from the beginning of 'The Hunger Games' past 'Mockingjay'. Eventual Joniss
1. Strange Bedfellows

"Today's the day, huh?" says a voice I almost don't recognize. I open my eyes and take in my surroundings. Bright blue walls with just as obnoxiously bright, yellow curtains.

'Guess I didn't make it home again last night' I think to myself. Which leaves me to my next thought about whose house I did end up at. I think back to last night…

The night before the reaping is never really a happy time in District 7. Sure we are better off than the outlying Districts like 11 and 12 but we still have nothing on 1 and 2. We've produced seven victors over the course of the games and only two of us are still alive. This means I am automatically required to be a mentor each year until a new female victor has risen. 'Fat chance' I think to myself.

The only pleasure I remotely get out of being a Mentor is that I get to see fellow victors like Finnick and Annie from District 4. If I were to admit I had friends these two would be the closest people to that. I also thoroughly enjoy the idea that President Snow has no more power over me ever since I pretended to be weak and won my games when I was 17. I thought winning the games was a free pass at life but I was saddened, no pissed is more like the word, to find out that the life of a victor was even more unbearable than if I would have died in the arena like Titus. Well, he was pretty much killed off because of his sanity, or lack thereof. A quick flash of an avalanche runs through my mind as I try and forget the aftermath.

After I won I refused to give into Snow's requests and in a matter of months my parents, brother, and girlfriend were mysteriously dead. Well, mysteriously dead to anyone in the Capitol, but in District 7 we knew better than to believe the propos of the fire that took their lives. So now when I return to the Capitol each year I make sure to be on my best behavior; In other words I drink like a fish and spew profanities at every picture of Snow I come across.

As I think back to last night I do remember drinking heavily and flirting with a few women too many. I rack my brain but for the life of me I can't remember past a certain point of the evening. As I bring myself back to the here and now I feel strong arms wrap around me.

"I thought you were going to sleep well past the reaping," says the voice I still can't pinpoint.

'Dammit Mason, it better not be another…'

Before I can finish my thought the bedroom door nearly flies off its hinges as a strong and equally aggravated man enters the room.

"What the hell are you doing with my wife?!" the voice screams at me. I glance over to the woman who is now as far away from me on the bed as possible and realize I indeed did it again. To make matters worse it's Galf who stands in the doorway glaring at me. That can only mean that Monroe is in the bed with me.

"Galf," I try to sound calm and confident "it was a simple mistake. You know how the women here just throw themselves at the victors without…"I'm cutoff by the sight of Galf producing a knife in his right hand.

"Its reaping day so I assume you should be somewhere far from here," he almost hisses at me. Not one to press my luck with someone of his size and stature, I quickly scan the room for any remnants of my clothes and only find my shoes.

"You're right as always my friend," I respond back to him as I hop off the bed with the shoes as my only article of clothing. As I cross over to excuse myself from the room and situation Monroe blows a kiss at me and Galf takes notice. Just as he turns back toward me I'm out of the window next to the bed with a knife finding its mark on the now closed shutter. I don't bother to look back because if I am found dead at the hands of someone other than President Snow there will be hell to pay.

I start into a brisk jog back to my house in the Victors' Village with a slight grin on my face.

"Happy Hunger Games," I say out loud.


	2. Reaping Day

As I make my way to the Justice Building, which is merely a block from my home, my mind wanders to the twelve through eighteen-year-olds who face today's reaping. We have far too many citizens in District 7 for them all to fit in the center of town so the preliminary drawing is done weeks in advance. The lucky tributes are made sure to be among the crowd on reaping day.

The Justice Building is the only structure besides the victor's houses to be made from concrete. The rest of our district tends to live in wood cabins, both on and above the ground. But once you get near the center the enormous trees that we are known for all but disappear.

I make my way up to the stage where my usual chair next to Blight awaits me. Next to him our District 7 escort, Trina, is seated wearing a green and brown dress which seems to be giving off the scent of pines. 'Seriously,' I laugh to myself. On her other side is our Mayor, a below average in height male with short, cropped, dirty blonde hair. You can tell he's starting to age by the shining silver hairs that catch in the sunlight.

Blight, the only other living victor from District 7, starts telling me about a rumor that a victor was caught in Galf Wilsor's bed which happened to have his wife in it as well. I grin and wink and let him know that I am absolutely ashamed of him.

As the two of us laugh at our conversation the clock gongs and the mayor rises to begin his speech about the history of Panem and the Dark Days, when the districts tried to overthrow the Capitol. This is how we lost our 13th district and why the Hunger Games happen once a year. A reminder that the districts will never be stronger than the Capitol and its president, Snow. The games themselves are simple enough to understand; one male and one female from each district will become a tribute. The 24 children fight each other until only one tribute is left alive in a Capitol designed arena.

I've drowned out the mayor for a while now and am brought back to attention when District 7's escort makes her way to the podium. 'Another year, another games, another 23 innocent children dead again,' I contemplate to myself. "Innocent," I laugh out loud and Blight turns his attention to me. I just shake my head and realize Trina is already reaching into the glass bowl that holds the girls' names.

She calls out a name I vaguely recognize and a tall, blonde girl no older than 14, shakily makes her way to the stage. 'At least she'll be something to look at,' I think. To her credit, Marley I think I heard, does not break down into tears like her male counterpart. I nudge Blight with my elbow and when I have his attention I start to pretend to cry. He doesn't seem to think it's funny and picks up his chair and turns it slightly away from me.

While the mayor reads the Treaty of Treason I truly am sad for both tributes. I wish there was a world where the games and Capitol were just a distant nightmare. I think back to my own reaping three years ago when my name was called. I almost drowned the district with my tears. However, this was all part of my strategy to look as weak and vulnerable as possible so I wouldn't appear to be a threat.

'Little did they know." The odds will never be in our favor as long as the Capitol is strung along by Snow.


	3. Pine Needles and Rain Water

The tributes are lead through the Justice Building where their goodbyes will take place.

I remember the moment of my own goodbyes all too well. My parents and brother were brought in first. My mother couldn't bring her eyes to me and just shook her head in disbelief. My father told me that they loved me and then he joined my mother and I in a hug that lasted until my older brother, Rolan, started to talk strategy to me. He told me there was no one better than an ax, not even himself, which I could only explain as a last ditch effort to try and boost my confidence. I let him know that he really wasn't saying much then. He wrapped me in his strong, tan arms and for a second I allowed myself to feel vulnerable. I did not want to let go of Rolan but at the presence of the Peacekeepers I knew our time was up. Before I even realized it they were ushered out of the room and I was screaming at the closed door.

After what seemed like hours the door opened and Tres appeared. She looked absolutely gorgeous in a thigh high black skirt and a forest green blouse that was tight in all the right places and loose in all the other places. At 18 this was the last time she had to worry about being part of the games.

I immediately found comfort in her arms. This woman who showed me how to let someone else in, who took the time to break through my tough exterior. I inhaled her scent, a mixture of pine trees and rain water, and imbedded it into my brain. Her lips brushed against my cheek and I felt her breathe by my ear. "I love you, you know that right?" she whispered in my ear between sobs.

"Obviously brainless." I tried to sound as confident as I could but the tears were out before I could even finish my response. We didn't speak but instead found solace in our embrace.

After what only seemed like a few seconds the door was opened and the Peacekeepers were there to escort Tres out. Our lips met in a passionate, yet quick, kiss. "I love you," I choked out but the door was now where Tres once stood.


	4. Reaping Recaps

The Justice Building and train station are crawling with cameras and reporters. They can't pass up the opportunity to talk with the only living victor's from District 7 and I silently hope the newest tributes will be along soon. Finally they arrive and the attention is now on them. I take the opening to sneak on to the train before I get roped in to another interview.

Not more than a few minutes later, and only halfway to my room car, I can feel the train lurch backward and then forward. Our journey will take less than a day since we are pretty close to the Capitol. The only reason it takes as long as it does is because of the sheer size of District 7.

As I make my way into my room I realize that supper will be less than an hour and I'm not looking forward to the next few weeks. Having someone's life in my own hands is way too much responsibility for my liking. Flashes of meeting Blight for the first time bombard my thoughts. A man in his late 30s with dark, short hair and a beard that rivaled any man of our district, Blight was the first person who actually gave me hope in my games.

We have become good friends over the past few years and I'm thrilled I don't have to mentor on my own like he did for previous years. I know he'll be in the dining hall earlier than expected so I give myself a once over in the mirror and make my way down the train corridor. "Ready for another successful year?" I ask Blight, emotionless.

"I'm thrilled, can't you tell?" he counters back without even a hint of a smile. "So about Monroe…do you even have anything to say for yourself?" he questions with one eyebrow arched.

"See, it really is a funny story…" I begin to answer when the sound of the dining hall door attracts our attention. In floats Trina in her usual upbeat manner flanked by Marley and the male tribute whose name I still haven't caught.

"We will finish this later," Blight directs toward me so I know I'm not off the hook. I roll my eyes and bring my gaze to the two tributes who are now quietly seated across from us. Before anyone can get another word in food starts appearing before us, course by course. As victors we have almost become accustomed to the richness of the Capitol food but we know the young tributes will not be. 'More for me,' I smile.

There's carrot soup, green salad, lamb chops and mashed potatoes, cheese and fruit, and chocolate cake for dessert. Neither tribute talks during dinner but instead tries to eat as much as they can. I pace myself knowing I don't have to worry about starving during OR after the games. 'One of the many perks,' I sarcastically remind myself. I'm appreciative of the peace because my head is still trying to quiet down from last evening's debacles.

As dinner winds down I remind the two that any extra weight they can gain before the games will only help them. However, by the looks on their faces they seem to have reached a stopping point. "Hey Trina," Blight speaks up "must be about time for the recaps." Before the rest of us can even take the last bite of cake Trina is up and corralling us into another room. When I go to sit next to Blight, Trina raises her brow and looks toward Marley's couch. I just roll my eyes but make my way next to the young girl. I try to give her a reassuring smile but she still seems to be making an effort of holding down her dinner.

The reapings from each district are replayed in front of us. I try to make note of the ones who will more than likely win. Districts 1 and 2 are as strong and ready as ever. The girl from 5 looks like she'll be able to outwit the majority of the tributes. The girl from 11 is only twelve. My eyes drift down and I silently curse the Capitol. The boy from 11 is a completely different tale; he's at least 6 foot tall with dark skin and a large build. 'He will definitely give the Careers a run for their money.'

As always District 12 is last and never requires much attention. However, as I start to rise out of my seat a girl no older than I was when I was called to be a tribute has suddenly volunteered. "Huh, a volunteer from 12," Blight mutters "imagine that." I drop back into my seat and can't keep my eyes off the dark haired girl from District 12. When their escort, Effie Trinket, asks for applause the entire crowd is silent and one by one each person raises their left arm with their pinky fingers pressed down by their thumbs.

The only thing that brings me back to our train is Blight calling my name louder and louder. My eyes meet his and he seems annoyed. "I said 'she will be one to watch out for, don't you think?'"

"Yeah, yeah I'll…we'll have to keep an eye on her." While the boy from 12 is reaped Marley asks why she's anything special. My thoughts immediately go in every direction: she's beautiful, she's fearless, and more than anything she volunteered to save her sister. Haymitch will have to stay sober this year.

"No one ever volunteers from 12," I respond "No one."

**I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who is taking the time to read my story. Saying I love the Hunger Games series is a serious understatement. I have lost count of the times I've read them by now. For those of you dedicated Joniss fans, I promise the story will get there. I really wanted to break down each book from Johanna's point of view so if you hang in there it will happen. Thanks again!**


	5. Travel Day

While the District 7 tributes are most likely bent over their toilets I try and get a quick nap in before we arrive in the Capitol later tonight. My thoughts and dreams keep the girl from District 12 too close to escape what's to come in the next few weeks. 'I need to focus on Marley not some volunteer from 12,' I remind myself.

When I wake up from my less than stellar nap I try to judge if the train is still moving. It is, so by now Marley and Wit are probably waiting for some advice. I roll out of the large bed and throw on some long, black shorts and a grey, loose shirt.

As I make my way back to the dining hall the two tributes and Blight are discussing their skills with axes. Since we are from District 7, the lumber district, we do have an advantage with these weapons. Hell, I've been tossing mine around since I could walk. Rolan always was jealous I was a natural. "Blight, focus on getting them to food and water first, won't you." He just shakes his head and say's he was getting there.

As the four of us discuss abilities and survival skills the car goes dark. We're getting close because we are in the tunnel that runs through the mountains into the Capitol. The train starts to slow and dusk seems to be surrounding us. "And we'll lose them in 3, 2, 1…" I say to Blight. Like clockwork the pair of tributes are drawn to the window of the train. I don't blame them, the Capitol is an amazing sight the first time you see it in person. However, chances are your first time will also be your last.

I glance past the two and am immersed back into a world of bizarre people. They start to point and wave to the tributes. To the citizens of the Capitol the games are just that, an entertaining fight to the death. To people like us it's a barbaric tradition. At last the train slows down as we near our destination. Trina gathers Marley and Wit out the door and whisks them through the station doors in a matter of minutes.

"What do you think?" Blight inquires.

Honestly, my thoughts are not on my own tribute but instead back to the girl from 12. "Huh?" I look at him confused.

"Where's your head Mason? You've been out of it ever since the recap."

I shake my head. "Nowhere," I lie. "I'll be surprised if they make it past the first hour."

He nods his head in agreement and sadness. "Not going to be the year of District 7 again."


	6. The Victor's Lounge

While Marley is meeting with her prep team I make my way to the 'Victor's Lounge'. This is what Finnick and I call one of the Capitol's most forgotten about establishments. For the life of us we can't understand how Snow hasn't discovered our makeshift gathering place right under his nose. It's dark out but no one would know any better because of the lights the Capitol illuminates its streets with. I make my way through crowds of people. Some recognize me but most catch my eye and rethink their next move. Regardless, I hear them whisper to one another how much they love me ever since I won a few years ago. "Idiots."

I stop in front of what appears to be an old tattoo studio. As I enter, the bell rings and the owner, a middle aged man called Voy, looks my way but continues his work. I tell him I'm interested in some surgical alterations. The woman tries to see who has entered but Voy reminds her to stay still. "I don't do that here but the shop 'round back does."

I apologize for the inconvenience and he just shakes his head muttering about how 'he does tattoos like it's clearly written on his sign' while he ushers me into the back. Once clear of the woman and the front of the shop he brings me past crates of ink and stops on what appears to be a loose floorboard. He does a quick check and pushes the board away revealing a ladder. I place some money in his hand and head down the ladder. Before I'm even halfway down, the board is back in place with no sign of what's below.

"Johanna!" I hear before I make it to the bottom. I feel strong, lean arms around my waist and know its Finnick. "Miss me?" he says with a flirtatious wink.

"Obviously," I respond as I find my arms wrapped around his athletic body. Finnick became my family when I had no one else.

"I still remember the year you won," he reminds me.

"Well, that's what happens when you're an old man like yourself." We both laugh and break the hug. Finnick leads me down a small, cold corridor and into an equally small room. There's a table with four mismatched, empty chairs and one other chair occupied by an older woman.

"Hi Mags." She looks up from the table and gives me a toothless smile. Mags has basically raised Finnick since he was just a kid in District 4. Chaff and Haymitch won't be getting in 'til tomorrow and I'm assuming Annie isn't having a good day. "Just us?" I ask for confirmation.

Finnick has a distant look for a second and then smiles. "More of the good stuff for us," he says as he produces a pretty full bottle of white liquor. He pours each of us a glass and for a few hours I can try and forget about the games, the girl I need to keep alive, and the girl from 12 who I can't seem to escape.


	7. I Volunteer

"I volunteer. I volunteer as tribute!" screams the girl from District 12. I can't help but be drawn to her selflessness of the moment. I don't think I could do what she's done. She will die to save her sister. I try and make my way closer to the stage but just can't seem to get anywhere. For a moment I swear her grey eyes meet my brown eyes.

"Bang! Bang! Bang!" Suddenly I am no longer gazing into her eyes but instead I realize I am in my room in the Training Center.

"Mason, let's go!" yells Blight from the other side of my door.

'I hope I didn't miss breakfast,' I think as I throw on the long grey shirt and black shorts I find in the top drawer. As I make my way to the dining area I'm pleased to see that breakfast is still going on. I'm not even the last to arrive because right behind me comes Marley at a running pace. She barely avoids knocking me over. I raise my left brow at her and she puts her head down, as she walks to the table. 'Too easy,' I laugh to myself.

Breakfast is over before it even begins; Trina comes and gathers our tributes and before I can blink Blight and I are the only two left. "Where were you last night?" I question him.

He looks around cautiously and hesitates. I catch his gaze that has drifted to the Avox by the door. "I'm not at your disposal Mason. Just because you're lonely at night doesn't mean I am."

I roll my eyes at him, "In your dreams."

We are both aware that our tributes don't have a shot but it still doesn't make it any easier. Marley may be clumsy but her smile lights up any room she enters. And as quiet as Wit is, you can tell he just wants this to be over. Both are currently meeting with their prep teams which gives me time to shower and look presentable. We won't be face-to-face with them until before the opening ceremonies. I excuse myself rudely from Blight's company and make my way back to my room.


	8. Teamwork

Marley and Wit are presented to us as some sort of paper creation; I can't decide if this is better or worse than when I was dressed as a tree. I pull Marley aside and try to calm her nerves. I remind her to be as composed and graceful as she can possibly be. She gives me her signature smile and I tell her to do that the entire time. We make our way down to the bottom of the Remake Center with the rest of the districts. I look around and I catch Finnick's eye but continue to scan the field of tributes and victors. 'Where is she?'

We wish our tributes good luck and make our way to the elevator that leads the victors into their designated seating area. I sit next to Blight in our section displayed with a 'District 7' banner. We make small talk with victors from 6 and 8 until the opening music begins. The parade of tributes, in their horse drawn chariots, start to make their way to the City Circle where the past victors are seated high above.

I catch glimpses of Districts 1 and 2 on the screen and shake my head because of the crowd's approval. By the time our tributes make their way closer all I can see in the distance is what appears to be fire. A "District 12" chant breaks out and I'm intrigued by their strategy; the two tributes are actually holding hands. Doesn't make much sense since there will only be one victor in the end.

Something about the scene doesn't sit well but I can't pinpoint it. The girl from 12 starts blowing kisses to the crowd and we're…they're eating it up. I look over to the District 12 box and notice Haymitch actually looks somewhat pleased AND sober. "Katniss! Katniss!" is being shouted from all directions.

The chariots make their way in front of Snow's mansion and the music cuts out. He goes on with usual welcome speech but my attention keeps jumping back to Katniss Everdeen. The chariots make their way around the circle one last time while Snow finishes his speech.

The mentors are brought down to the Training Center where the tributes have just disappeared to in their chariots. I realize on the ride down I don't have anything to say to my own tribute. In all honesty, I don't remember much besides District 12 and their flames. I make up some encouraging words to tell Marley so I don't appear to be a complete waste of a mentor. From this point on Wit and Marley will be mentored separately. Blight and I will consult with each other but it only makes things harder when some district tributes continue to socialize.

We ride the elevator up to floor 7. The tributes go their own ways to change out of their ridiculous paper airplane costumes. Trina rounds everyone up for dinner and I can't wait. In all the commotion of the day's events I realize that I haven't eaten since breakfast. Tonight we have mushroom soup, bitter greens with tomatoes, rare roast beef sliced paper-thin, noodles in green sauce, and cheese served with blue grapes.

The avoxes make sure everything runs smoothly and no one's glass is ever empty. Small talk is made about the ceremonies and even our tributes seem to be in awe of District 12. "Let's make our way to the sitting room," Trina says, all too chipper, as dinner comes to an end. Time to watch the replay of the opening ceremonies.

My mind thinks back to my own opening ceremonies. Dressed like a ridiculous tree, I vaguely remember Blight talking strategy. 'I can't believe I'm dressed like a fucking tree,' I thought to myself. I hardly acknowledged the District 7 male tribute but reminded myself to continue to come off as weak. I mustered up the worst memories I could think of and let the tears flow. My male counterpart just shook his head and found his position in the chariot. Blight had a perplexed expression on his face, like he couldn't quite decide if I was really upset or not. He shook his head and left us. Other tributes were eyeing me like dessert and I couldn't help but wonder which one would try me first.

As we watch the recap I try to make note of the other districts but no one outshines 12, particularly the female. They show the two coming out of the Remake Center, hands entwined. I roll my eyes and make a disgusted sound. "Doesn't make much sense since they'll most likely have to kill each other." Marley and Wit glance at each other and quickly avert their eyes. Blight just shakes his head disapprovingly.

"You two get some sleep and make sure to be up for breakfast," he directs toward our tributes. As they head their separate ways I can't help but wonder what Haymitch has up his sleeve. As if reading my thoughts Blight breaks the silence. "Why present them as a team?"

I wrack my brain and try to think like Haymitch. "Probably wasn't even his idea." Blight agrees and says goodnight. As I walk to my room I can't help but try and understand what Haymitch is thinking. He was an amazing tribute but he hasn't had much reason to celebrate his mentor status. I'm going to have to talk to him soon. Maybe he can shed some more light on the Everdeen girl too.

**Latest chapter! I made sure to make it longer and I promise that I will work on making the rest of my chapters longer as well. If I do end up with shorter chapters I will make sure to post more than one for that day. Thank you all for sticking in there with Johanna!**


	9. The Odds are Never in Our Favor

Off in the distance I can almost forget the games exist; I am at home in the forest of District 7, surrounded by the familiar sights and scents I grew up around. I turn my attention towards my parent's house. It's a nice break from the concrete jungle I call home now in the Victors' Village. My family is safe now that the games are over, as I was the last one who could be reaped. Tres, who is also over the reaping age, is safe as well. 'This is as normal as life will get.' Tonight we will celebrate my homecoming together as a family.

A twig snaps nearby and I can't help but be on edge; when people have tried to kill you I think it's honestly just a natural defense. I crouch behind the enormous stump that lies on the edge of our property line. My right hand has instinctively moved down my side where I have my ax. As I pull it up over my head and prepare to defend myself I see two stunning emerald-green eyes staring at me with fear.

I drop my ax and run to her. "I'm sorry Tres…" I start to explain how the games have messed with me and I can't help but being on edge. Tears fill my eyes as she firmly embraces me.

"Shh," she soothes me "you're home now. You're safe."

I look at her ashamed but can't help but feel grateful that she somewhat understands my fear. Her mother was attacked and beaten to death when Tres was only five. She witnessed the entire thing but somehow gathered up the courage to stay quiet until the attacker took off. The worst part is they never did catch the person who did it so Tres has also developed a kill-first-ask-questions-later defense mechanism.

Her hand strokes my cheek softly and I close my eyes. I search blindly for her lips, to feel them against mine. Something isn't right though. I open my eyes and she's gone. "Tres!" I scream. "Tres!" Something moves behind me and I turn quickly; it's dead before I even know what it is. My ax has found its home inside a rabbit's head and as I reach down to retrieve my weapon I notice the tree stump again. But this time there's something carved in it. The words 'The odds are never in our favor," are there, right above the initials "TS". My hand absentmindedly traces the letters and I can't help but scream obscenities as loud as humanly possible to the Capitol.

I feel someone shaking me but my eyes stay fixed on the initials. My hands find themselves wrapped around Marley's neck before I even realize what's happening. When I realize what's playing out in front of me I immediately release her. She has tears in her eyes and handprints around her neck.

"I-, I'm sorry," she barely chokes out. "I heard screaming and I just wanted to check on you."

My head is in my hands and I rock myself a few times to try and compose myself. "I'm sorry Marley," I try to apologize. She puts her arms around me and I stiffen. She lets go just as quickly as she got there and flinches as my eyes meet hers.

"If I survive is this what I look forward to?" The tears in her eyes are building up again and I can see the concern.

I immediately avert my eyes and nod. I try to think of something to stay to reassure her but she's gone before I can even bring my gaze to the spot she just held. "Pmph!" I look down at my now bleeding knuckles and try to feel something, anything.


	10. Last Night's Mistake,Today's Consequence

After a quick shower and a shot bandage job on my hand, I make my way down to the dining hall. I try not to focus on what happened last night with Marley but my gaze drops back down to the bandages around my knuckles. I shake my head, trying to rid the last memory but I'm reminded too quickly when Marley walks into the room with bruise marks around her neck. I lower my gaze and to my satisfaction she just makes small talk about breakfast. 'She's braver than anyone even knows.'

The boys make their way to join us a few minutes after we have already started to help ourselves. I know Blight notices the bruises but he doesn't say anything either. 'Must be my lucky day.' We serve ourselves choosing from eggs, sausages, battercakes, and pale purple melons. The tributes have learned not to load their plates up too much.

Blight and I come up with some advice for training today. Our brilliant plan is for them each to keep a low key; better to not bring too much attention to themselves to discourage the Careers from caring. We split after a mostly silent breakfast to get ready for training.

As I head off with Marley I try to think of an apology or explanation but before I can even muster up the words she's asking questions.

"Do I help Wit? No, I guess that doesn't really make much sense. But then again why is 12 a team?"

I can tell she's just trying to fill the silence so we don't have to talk about last night. She just starts to ramble on about strategy until she's short of breath. "Marley," I finally get a chance to talk "you can team with him if you want but in the end it really won't help either of you. Sure you'd both be alive but only one person can walk out of there." I have her attention now. "Honestly you're better off going your separate ways now. There won't be any hard feelings and if you want a shot this is it." She looks at me with clouded eyes. "Do you have any special skills besides the ax?" Being from 7 everyone is trained with an ax at an early age.

She seems to be thinking my question over. "Well, I, I know how to skin animals for food and, and clothing."

I tilt my head towards her. "You're from further North, yeah?" She just nods.

"Those are great skills," I reassure her.

We continue to go over our strategy until about 9:40 when we meet up with Trina, Blight, and Wit. The training rooms are underground so we all hop on the elevator that will take us there. We are in there less than a minute before Wit and Marley are ushered off with a handful of other tributes.

Before the door closes I quickly look for Katniss Everdeen. To no avail I accept the fact she isn't there and ride the elevator back up to the seventh floor. 'I think it's about time to have a chat with Haymitch.'

While our tributes are off training, Blight and I meet up with Haymitch and Finnick. Annie sill isn't feeling well and Mags is looking after her. We are on the twelfth floor, the floor designated to Haymitch and his tributes. It's not as secluded as our meeting place in the streets of the Capitol but it has to do.

"So Haymitch, are you actually going to stay sober this year?" I can't help but harass him.

He gives me an agitated look but seems to be going through withdrawals so it must be true. Finnick just stares at me and I know I need to lay off. At least Haymitch was smart enough to figure out how to drown out the games, and pretty much life.

"Just because I have myself a couple of fighters this year you have to run your mouth and pretend you do too?'

I just shrug my shoulders but my thoughts drift towards Katniss. "What's her deal?" I direct towards him.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" he counters back.

Finnick can't stand the hostility and starts babbling on about his tributes. However, no one seems to be paying attention despite Finnick's exaggerated hand motions I catch in the corner of my eye.

"Finnick," I interrupt "I love hearing about 4, I really do, but I heard Mags was looking for you. Something about Annie." With the mention of her name he gets a distant look in his eyes. He doesn't even realize I have no way of knowing any of this.

"Blight, why don't you make sure he gets down there for us," Haymitch chimes in.

Before I know it I'm left alone with Haymitch and a couple of avoxes I don't envy. "So what's your star 'team' showing off right now?" Haymitch just shrugs, looks around, and pours himself some white liquor. 'So much for sober.'

"Like I would tell you Mason."

"Whatever," I start to get up.

"Fine, he's strong and she's good with a bow," he says to keep my attention.

"Have you actually seen either of them in action?" I'm not one for believing people on their word alone.

"I've heard enough stories about the girl's game being eaten." He quickly looks around and I know he's telling me she hunts illegally outside of their district.

"Seriously, what's her deal?" I continue to inquire.

He takes a slug of his drink and seems lost in his thoughts. "Johanna, when I know, you'll know."

I can tell he's being honest so we make a little more small talk and I excuse myself. 'So she's good with a bow…I would love to see her try and compete with me and my ax.' Maybe if she makes it out of this thing alive I'll get my chance.

**Hey everyone, I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I am dealing with a medical condition that likes to put me out of condition every once in awhile. I've had a pretty decent week so I'm hoping I will be able to keep up with the story better. Thank you guys for the continued support! Team Johanna :)**


	11. A Born Killer

It's been a few days since Marley and Wit started training sessions with the other tributes. Marley has been working on her ax skills and trying to figure out some basic survival abilities like building a fire and finding fresh water. She doesn't have much to report to me besides the fact that the tributes from 1 and 2 are huge and too accurate with their choice weapons. She doesn't really bring up 12 so I ask her some questions. In all honesty Marley admits they really don't bring much attention to themselves. 'Haymitch is hiding their skills. He really is on his game.'

We go through our routine of breakfast with Blight, Wit, and Trina, a little strategy talk then they're off to training until just before dinner. After dinner no one seems too inclined to talk so we try and get some sleep. We repeat this until the third day when the tributes will be called individually to meet the Gamemakers. District by district, first the boy, than the girl tribute. I remind Marley that now's the time to be as graceful as she's ever been. As I look at her I'm happy to notice the bruises are almost gone.

She smiles and embraces me in a quick hug. "Thank you," she utters as she runs off with Wit down to the training room.

"Think she knows?" I turn my head and notice Blight walking towards me.

"Knows what?" I try to pretend I have no idea that he's talking about how quickly our tributes will be killed.

"Oh you know, how to be a crappy mentor," he mutters as he plops down on the couch.

"You kept me alive," I remind him.

He meets my gaze. "You were..." he pauses, searching for the right word, "different. These kids aren't killers and you and I both know it."

The sad thing is I don't even react when Blight calls me a killer. "Soon Blight, soon this will all be behind us. Sn-" I'm cutoff by a plate being dropped. The Avox boy quickly starts to clean up the mess but I know his reaction was because of my words.

Blight pretends not to have heard me and starts talking about tonight and the scoring. I go with his conversation but my thoughts don't stray past a world where the Games don't exist. 'One day.'

Wit is the first one back and tells us it went ok. He showed them his skills with an ax but he also mentions that the ax may have flew out of his hands at one point. Honestly this kid has accepted his impending death and seems to be just enjoying his last days alive. I wouldn't be shocked if the ax was let go on purpose. Blight tells him the scoring will all work out then sends Wit off to his room so he can rest before dinner and the score reveals.

Not too long after, Marley joins us but her usual spark just isn't there. "What happened?"

"Well, I-I knocked over all the axes and then when I went to swing it I-I just couldn't. I dropped it and just stood there until someone told me I could leave."

'This is not good.' She doesn't need to know that thought, she needs support. "Hey, it's ok. I'm sure they won't hold it all against you," I try to convince her. I send her to her room and tell her to try and take a nap before dinner. She nods and walks off with her head held low. 'Poor thing.' I wonder if the Gamemakers will punish her. They probably think I told her to do it. I know it won't end well for Marley because she was lucky enough to get me as her mentor.


	12. Ice Water

I wake up in a pool of sweat as another arena-filled nightmare doesn't permit me to find any sleep. I am reminded, once again, that I am a vicious killer with the lasting effect of my nightmare. I roll out of bed, stripping my soaked clothes, as I make my way to the shower. I turn down the temperature as cold as it will allow, and brace myself for what's to come. Making the water ice cold permits me to feel like a person again. For some reason cold showers always comfort the ice running through my veins.

I think back to my home in the woods with my parents and brother. That was the last place I ever had a warm shower. 'Just one more thing I can thank Snow for.' Once my blood is going I step out of the luxurious shower and dry myself off. I walk back through the room naked and grab a pair of dark shorts and an equally dark top. I head off to get in a quick run in the training center before dinner.

Tonight's a big night for our tributes; since today's earlier training session wasn't open to viewers, the Gamemakers will announce a score for each player. It gives the audience a starting place for the betting that will continue throughout the Games. The number, which is between one and twelve, one being irredeemably bad and twelve being unattainably high, signifies the promise of the tribute. However, this mark is not a guarantee of which person will win. It's only an indication of the potential a tribute showed in training. Often, because of the variables in the actual arena, high-scoring tributes go down almost immediately.

The year I won I received a whopping four. My score played well into my strategy but I'm afraid for Wit and Marley. This year I have a feeling a low score will end their time in the arena very quickly. 'It would be so much easier if these kids weren't so likeable,' I realize as my run isn't do much to clear my head. It's getting close to dinner so I finish up then head back to our floor to make sure Marley is ready. I'm glad that things are back to normal and the bruises are now just a faint reminder of my demons.

Dinner is the usual small talk and boring Capitol stuff. The stylists have joined us, because the scores will be televised tonight, which makes the Capitol talk last longer than I would like. After eating our meal of pork chops, mashed potatoes, and some wine we all make our way into the sitting room to watch the scores. I find my place next to Marley and allow her hand to grasp mine; 'It's the least I can do.'

First they show a photo of the tribute, then flash their score below it. The Career Tributes naturally get in the eight-to-ten range. Most of the other players, including Wit and Marley, average a five. The small girl from 11 ends up with a seven and I tell myself to keep an eye out for her. Wit and Marley are good with their scores and almost seem like they're enjoying our time together. We will be the last family they know; I squeeze Marley's hand a little bit tighter.

District 12 comes up last, as usual. Normally we wouldn't even be watching them but this year everything is different. I'm more than intrigued with them. If Haymitch is right, and he's got some actual fighters this year, I would say they'll fall into the eight-to-ten range with the Careers. The boy ends up with an eight and I anxiously await the girl's score. Her face comes up on the screen followed by a flashing score of eleven.

"I'll be damned," Blight eloquently reacts to her score.

I wonder what she possibly could have done for that score. 'Guess her bow skills really are that impressive.' Unfortunately for her that eleven may as well be a bulls eye. The Careers will not be happy that the girl from the outlining District 12 has outscored them. 'Guess I won't get my chance to meet her and personally see what the fuss is all about.'

For some reason while walking back to my room my thoughts drift quickly from the Everdeen girl to Tres. It stops me dead in my tracks. "You alright Mason?" Blight's looking at me with his brow arched.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I answer.

"You know Mason, it is ok to have things called feelings. Losing your family and Tres and actually admitting you care won't completely ruin your reputation."

I look confusingly back at him. "Ice water, my friend, ice water." I turn towards my door and once it's closed I slump down against it, crying as I hit the floor.

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**Just wanted to give a shout out to my followers who keep taking the time to read my story. You guys are awesome! Thank you to all the new readers as well, I hope you're enjoying Johanna's story. As always reviews are welcome :)**


	13. Mahogany Mason

**So in this chapter Johanna is going to flashback to a time when she thought she needed to inflict some self-harm to feel like a normal person again. In my opinion I think she would have done something like that, not because she isn't strong but because she is too strong. Please don't read if this bothers you! I am not condoning her use of self-hurt so please don't take it as that...this is where the story took me and I feel like I needed to write it. Thanks again for the continued support! If you think this chapter will bother you it's just some more backstory so join us for the next one.**

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As I lay in my bed I try to feel something, anything. My thoughts drift back to one of my last encounters with Tres. We fought one of the last times I saw her and I can't shake that memory as much as I try. It was my welcome back celebration that my parents threw me after they believed enough attention of from the Games had worn off. I know they wanted to try to have things go back to normal but I was different. Still feeling the effects of the Games, and a loneliness I just couldn't fight, I had filled up on some white liquor. By the time Tres expected me to be presentable I was so many drinks in that I could barely stand let alone pretend I wasn't hurting.

"Johanna, are you drunk?" she questioned. When I didn't answer she stepped closer to me and immediately backed up holding her nose as she turned her head. "You smell like a distillery! Your parents have done all this for you and you're just going to show up like this?"

I just stared at her and shook off her words. She just couldn't understand why I would do this to her but she's also never been in the arena; she isn't a killer. I embarrassed her so much she would barely talk to me. But what did I care, I killed before and I didn't need her. At least that's what I convinced myself after I won. I could make it on my own and never need to rely on anyone again.

While the thoughts of one of our last meetings linger in my head my hand absently caresses my knife that lays on the side table by my bed. It's one of the last possessions that I still care about and that actually comes from my home. The knife, consisting of a rich mahogany base and a silver steel blade, belonged to my father originally. He carved the handle himself, engraving 'Mason' into it so finely. When my brother was old enough my father passed on the knife to him. He wouldn't let it leave his sight even if he was just getting up to use the bathroom. Right before I was reaped, Rolan gave me the family knife. It's almost like he knew I was going to need it, that I would be the one chosen to represent District 7, in the Games. I couldn't bring it with me in the arena and I honestly never thought I would see it again but after I won it appeared across my dresser one night on the train ride home.

As I stroke the smooth handle and trace the letters I remember giving it back to Rolan as a thank you. He finally took it when I threatened him making sure he knew I was a killer now. I think he just took it back so I wouldn't bug him all the time. He seemed uneasy every time I mentioned I was capable of killing with my bare hands. After Snow had my family killed I found the knife untouched laying across the rubble that the fire left with a single white rose that reeked of blood. I grabbed it and ran as far as I could before I needed to stop to catch my breath. I was in a part of the forest that I didn't recognize and reminded me so much of the arena. I flipped open the blade and carefully let it make its mark across my thigh. I didn't feel anything and only stopped when I looked down and saw all the blood covering my leg.

This was the one and only time that I ever physically tried to hurt myself. I thought it would help make me feel more like a person again but it only reminded me that my hands were easily capable of drawing blood from anyone or anything that crossed my path. I will never give Snow that kind of power again.

As my hand touches the handle now and I think about the numerous people Snow has killed my other hand finds itself resting against the scars of my past. They're nothing more than raised, pink skin now. Yet I still don't have anything to show for them. Tres is gone; my parents are gone; Rolan is gone. I truly am alone now thanks to our President. Without even realizing it my knife is now lodged in the wall across from me in my room.


	14. Interview Preparations

After another restless night of sleep mixed with nightmares of my past I get up and start my day. When I feel like the ice cold water of my shower has done its job of shocking me into an awake state I quickly dry my shoulder-length hair with one of the soft, expensive Capitol towels. 'One of these is worth at least two cabins at home.' With little regard I toss the towel on the floor knowing that an Avox will make it disappear before I even make it to breakfast. I throw on my clothes for the day and make my down to the dining hall.

Tomorrow night will be the tributes televised interviews; I vaguely think back to my interview with Caesar Flickerman. My obnoxious stylist dressed me in a long, loose, green dress that had subtle specks of brown in it. 'Another fucking tree,' I thought. Caesar asked his usual questions about what the audience should expect from me and some things about my home. He always has a way of making the tributes seem so much better than they are. I think he genuinely was sad for me during my interview because every time he asked one of his stupid questions I would stutter and start to cry. I played him, the audience, and the other tributes once again. Blight had told me to continue to do what I was doing with very little guidance or input. I think he realized that I wouldn't listen and I was capable of thinking for myself. Deep down he knew my weak girl front was a ruse. He would later tell me that something about my eyes just didn't fit the innocent, scared child act I was emitting.

My trials for approval are over and I know I need to focus on Marley now. I know she'll be nervous but she has to be as confident as possible; the tributes, especially the Careers, will target her first if she shows them any signs of weakness during her interview. 'Guess I kinda ruined it for the kids who are actually scared.'

I'm the first to arrive and start to load my plate with lamb stew and dried plumbs. Perfect on the bed of wild rice. Not too long after, I'm joined by Blight, Wit, and Marley. Trina is running around like a crazy woman but this leaves us with some peace during our breakfast. No one seems particularly inclined to talk this early which is fine with me. I throw back my orange juice and enjoy the rare silence.

After our food is mostly digested we let the tributes know they'll each be spending four hours with us and four hours with Trina. They just nod in agreement and for a second I almost hate how cooperative they can be. It shows me that they have accepted what's to come without a second guess.

Blight and I work with Wit first while Marley is off with Trina. It's an awfully long time to be spending with us, let alone with her. They'll most likely be working on her clumsiness and trying to make her as graceful as humanly possible. Unfortunately that girl could fall sitting down in a chair. Blight and I take turns giving Wit advice for his interview. We agree that he should continue to be his fun, goofy self. We can't pass him off as a real contender to win but we can downplay his weaknesses with his unmatched humor.

We break for a quick lunch then take Marley back to the sitting room. She seems relieved that her time with Trina is over and that she actually gets to remain in her seat. I've been racking my brain trying to decide how to present her during her interview. I've asked Blight his opinion at least five times the past few nights but it always seems harder to come up with the best way to showcase the one's like Marley. 'She should be back home with her family, not here being paraded around like an animal going in for slaughter.' We decide to continue to use her smile and charm; the more she can focus on these things the less time the Careers will focus on her lack of confidence and strength.

While Blight is asking her some mock questions I start to wonder what District 12's strategy will be for tomorrow. Haymitch won't let me in on anything involving his tributes and I can't decide if it's because he doesn't know himself or he actually has a plan. Finnick thinks I'm absolutely crazy for caring so much about the outlying District tributes. Hell, I think I'm crazy never mind. No one's intrigued me this much since…

"Right Johanna?" Blight pulls me out of my wandering thoughts.

"Huh? Uh, yeah…sure."

Both Marley and Blight start laughing and I just glare at them while I silently curse myself. At least she can still make her last few days count, even if it is at my expense.

We finish up with her and meet up with Trina and Wit in the dining room. Tonight its rare beef with a white garlic and butter sauce, potatoes smashed into fluffy clouds, and bright green and orange vegetables. Small talk is made and then everyone is off to their rooms. Wit and Marley have a big day ahead of them and seem wiped out from today's long sessions so there's no point keeping them up any later. I'm honestly wiped out too. Between trying to be a good mentor and not really sleeping that well I know I've started to develop dark shadows around my eyes. 'The sooner this is over the sooner I can go back to my solitude at home.' I make my way into my room and try and settle in, hoping for a quiet mind tonight.


	15. Author's Note

**Hello to everyone out there that has been reading my story or who may have just started. Just wanted to say thank you so much for all the support and reviews. Tomorrow I will be going in for a rare and risky surgery and I'm not sure when I will be able to update again. I apologize for the interruption in the story but I promise if you guys hang in there it will continue. I will be as soon as possible! Thanks again!**

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**_Hey guys...just wanted to update everyone. Surgery went great! Haven't really been up for writing just yet but I'm hoping it won't be too much longer. Thank you so much for all the support and kind words!_**


	16. I Feel Pretty

Before I know it morning has crept up on me. I don't even feel like I've slept but my prep team today will help me look presentable enough. We all basically have the same schedules on the day of the interviews. Although Blight and I have already been through this circus years before we still have to appear well-dressed and have our own prep teams just like Wit and Marley. Fortunately they don't have to go the lengths as if they were dealing with current tributes and I find myself with some extra time to grab some breakfast.

When I arrive in the dining hall I notice that Blight is nowhere to be found. I know both tributes have been up for hours being worked on so it's just me, my thoughts, and the Avox standing by the food to keep me company while I eat. I settle on bread stuffed with some golden eggs and sweet, syrupy ham. I wash it down with the water that keeps appearing in my glass thanks to the Avox. I just nod each time, not really in the mood to talk and knowing there's absolutely no pressure coming from him.

I must have let my mind wander, thinking about what it would be like to be silent all these years; the stories this young man must have. Because before I know it my team is swarming around me reminding me I should care more about my sleep habits and appearance. 'Let the fun begin.'

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After what seems like days, but can only be a few hours, the bags under my eyes are a distant reminder of my sleepless nights in the Capitol. My short hair has been thankfully only straightened and allowed to flow freely above my shoulders. My features have been darkened to reflect the killer instincts I displayed during my own Games; I'll never be able to be the innocent girl they all thought I was. 'That's fine with me.'

My stylist, Willow, enters the room and gives me a-onceover. I've gotten used to standing naked with eyes from every direction focusing on my each flaw by now. I greet her and she briefly makes eye contact before trying to see if I'm up to her standards. 'Why do I even bother?'

After a few moments and me stepping into an ankle-length, skin tight, dark green dress she finally acknowledges that I'm in the room and the very person she has been working on. "Johanna, my dear," she chirps in that annoying Capitol accent I've been surrounded by these past few days "how is my favorite Victor?"

We make small talk while she adjusts the slit going down my leg that starts just below my waste. 'Nothing they can ever have.' I step into a gorgeous pair of black stilettos that I surprisingly can walk in without a problem. I think this part always shocks Willow and her team.

I quickly flash back to a younger me sneaking into my mother's special chest of high heeled shoes she tried to hide from the world. She wanted to show everyone that even though we came from such a masculine district it was ok to appreciate beauty and femininity. I would put them on and walk around pretending to be her; she was so graceful.

With a small tear I shake myself back to Willow who is thankfully ignoring me and telling the team, and herself, what an exquisite job they have done once again. As I look myself over in the floor-length mirror I notice specks of brown shimmering as the light catches them. "Palm wood," Willow notices they caught my curiosity.

"They're beautiful," I reluctantly admit to her.

Her head perks up and I can tell that she will be going around mentioning to everyone how her Victor complemented her. "Just a little something to remind you of home my dear."

I do something out of character but I give her a genuine smile, one that only few have seen. "Until next year my dear!" Willow beams as she quickly kisses both cheeks and is off with the prep team in tow.

I look at myself one last time and can appreciate the work that's been done, even if it's for the pleasure of the Capitol. 'Maybe it won't be a waste and I can try and get a few minutes with Everdeen.'

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**I'm back! Thank you all so much for being so patient. I am just over 3 weeks post op and feeling so much better :) Things will go back to normal and you will be hearing from Johanna a lot more again!**


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